Healthy Mom, Healthy Kids

In order to rear healthy and emotionally-sound children, a woman must first be healthy and emotionally-sound herself. She needs a healthy sense of “self” so that she can make good decisions for herself and her children. It is virtually impossible for a woman to effectively raise thriving children if she herself is emotionally broken and spiritually fragmented. That’s all there is to it. I have seen it play out countless times and so have you. A woman who is insecure, fearful, nervous, and angry tends to raise children that mirror those weaknesses.

This is why, Single Mom, you must continue to work toward making yourself better and more competent in every area of your life. If you struggle with insecurity, you have to face that struggle head on and begin challenging yourself to grow and expand in areas of weakness.
Suggestion: Start with a journal of some sort. Take the time to catalogue your victories, triumphs or even survivals. List out every time you have conquered a short-coming or a setback. List them clearly. Whether it is smoking, drinking or just “falling” into bed with the first joker that says he loves you. Whatever your victory is, write it down, reflect on it and celebrate it.

Triumphant, Again!
Now that you have listed your victories, think about your formal triumphs. What have you achieved? Did you graduate from college against all odds? Did you graduate from trade school or high school? Did you just make it through today?
Your triumphs could actually be more personal than educational achievement. For instance, have you gained control of your food intake (that’s a tough one!)? Are you exercising now more than you have in the past? Whatever your triumph, embrace it and use it as a stepping stone to take you to the next stage of success.

"I Made It Through!!!"

Don’t forget to focus on your survivals. Did you survive a relationship that you thought would destroy you emotionally or even physically? If so, that’s praise-worthy! Did you manage [or are you managing] to raise your children with very few resources? Again, that’s a survival! Many of us have survived everything from personal attacks, mistreatment and spiritual setbacks. The key is to catalogue the triumph deep into your psyche so that you can use it to propel you forward in life. As a young mom, I never imagined that I would be able to work full-time, go to college, live in a great suburb while keeping my baby in a great private school, but God gave me the strength and the resources. That’s a big deal for me. I have been victorious, triumphant and, yes, I SURVIVED!

Single Mom, do not be “down” on yourself for your shortcomings. Instead purposely celebrate just how far you’ve come. I say it all of the time, ‘a lesser woman would have quit’. But you keep on “trucking’. That’s a huge step toward being that healthy and successful mom raising healthy, well-balanced kids!