Manners Aside: Survival for Moms

Have you ever noticed when you travel by plane, the very minute the plane is in the air and you are relaxed in your seat that the flight attendant comes with along with the “in case of emergency” lecture? Frankly, I roll my eyes when I see him or her positioning in the aisle. I usually don’t care about the exits or how to use the oxygen masks. I generally just want to sit undisturbed until my graham crackers [or peanuts] arrive.

But they come with their spiel anyway.

You know the speech, it’s something like this: “in the event of trouble, affix your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs”. The first time I heard this demonstration, I thought “hmmm…that it seems kinda rude.” Shouldn’t I help others first? The answer is a resounding NO! Why you ask. The answer is simple: the flight attendant is talking about [your and other's] survival not the social registry.

As a young mom, I was surprisingly aware of the link between effective parenting and my personal well-being. My son needed me and relied on me. I loved him, so I wanted to be physically and emotionally healthy for him. Whenever I did slack in my self care, my mom swiftly reminded me: “Teri, you are no good to anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first.” My mom was just talking about me taking vitamins, but I saw other life applications to her advice. As a result, I incorporated “little” self-care rituals into my daily routine. For instance, in the morning I would purposely wake up before my son, Benji, to do something I wanted to do. I’d use the time to journal, experiment with hairstyles or just paint my nails.

I found it helpful to do the same in the evenings. After a stressful day at work, I desperately needed to de-compress. So when my son was older, I allowed myself five minutes “me” time before I started dinner. It is amazing what five minutes could do for my mind and spirit. I often would just sit on the floor and stretch out the kinks of the day. It felt great! Other times, I’d slather on one of my favorite scented lotions before I headed to the kitchen to prepare a quick meal. My son must have thought I smelled like a giant vanilla bean or pomegranate when I came out of the room, but I didn’t care. Those simple gestures reminded me of my worth and significance.

Just as in the flight analogy, you must take are of yourself before you can competently care of anyone else – including your kids. It may “feel” selfish initially, but when you integrate balance, it’s anything but selfish! It’s absolutely necessary. We’re talking your physical and emotional survival.

Remember this: extreme self-compromising behaviors send unhealthy messages to your kids. Self care for you – as a parent - is an important part of a healthy, well-balanced lifestyle. That’s a great lesson to learn early in life.

Take care of yourself. In doing so, you’ll be providing your children the best care imaginable. Check out these sites for more tips:

"31 Ways to Relax in 10 Minutes or Less"
"100 Ways to Relax, Unwind and Loosen Up"
"8 Simple Ways to Relax"

I love Rodney Lee with Gaim. I have his Yoga tape "Yoga for Beginners".


Special note: As I penned this blog entry, I remembered that I hadn’t eaten a good meal the entire day! So, I left my laptop and took care of me. All lessons in life need a little reinforcement from time to time. What a great reminder for myself as well!